"Some things work and some things don't. There is almost always another way to get where you want to go. Don't keep trying to open a locked door."
Hi everyone and Happy Friday!
A few months ago I wrote a note to myself that said “Some things work for certain people, and some don’t. And that is okay”. I had written that right after attempting Mel Robbins’ “High Five Habit” that she’d discussed on her podcast that week. The high five habit is pretty simple and consists of looking at yourself in the mirror when you wake up in the morning and giving yourself a literal, physical high five in the mirror. Research has shown that it can give you the same benefits that you receive when someone else gives you a high five. So simple, yet supposedly can be incredibly profound according to Mel’s husband, who’d joined the podcast that day to discuss his experience with doing this.
He talked about how he had resisted at first because it sounded ridiculous, but then when he finally tried it, the results were utterly life changing. He got so emotional just talking about his experience doing it that he was choked up and crying on the podcast merely remembering the feelings he felt when he gave himself these high fives every morning. It didn’t take much more than that to convince me that I wanted to give it a try (anyone who knows me knows I love a good cry). So I set my reminder for the next morning and was ready to give myself a life changing high five the next day.
So the next morning when my alarm went off I went into the bathroom, looked in that mirror and raised my hand up and gave myself a big old high five and felt…nothing. What the heck? Where was the flood of emotions? Where were the tears?? I figured I’d done it wrong or rushed it too much, so I went back for another try and made sure to really maintain steady eye contact with myself in the mirror and hold the high five for an extra few seconds. When that didn’t work, I even tried “cheating” a few times and forced myself to think of something that was typically emotional for me (I don’t even remember now what it was I was thinking about but I remember I was really working to try to get some tears going).
I repeated this process for the next few days, even doing extra high fives in the mirror throughout the day at different times to see if that might do the trick. Each time experiencing the same result; no emotions, no tears, no nothing. I felt like I had totally failed. Why wasn’t this working for me?? The girl who cries at like any movie or tv show (or sometimes even commercial) at the drop of a hat. I am one of the most overly emotional people I know and this damn high five was not making me feel one tiny thing. What was I doing wrong??
Honestly, nothing. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Plenty of other tips and strategies that I’ve learned from this podcast have helped me immensely (like the five second rule which helped me wake up when the alarm goes off in the morning, major win; among many others I’ve learned from Mel, she’s amazing). I had to accept the fact that this particular tip just wasn’t for me and it was time to move on to something else.
There are a few reasons I decided to write about that experience today, after reading and re-reading that note to myself every time I open this document to write a new post yet not quite feeling ready to bring it up. First, I just happened to come across this quote from James Clear yesterday, which was just so fitting and so nicely put into words what I had tried to express with my shorter and less eloquently worded note to myself.
"Some things work and some things don't. There is almost always another way to get where you want to go. Don't keep trying to open a locked door."
In addition to my “failed” attempt at the high five habit, this quote also made me reflect on the fact that I’ve been using the Noom app for about three years now and have actually gained about ten pounds since originally starting to use it. I haven’t consistently used it for three full years, and I stopped paying for it a long time ago, but have continued to use it to track my calories and weight on a daily basis (with some periodic breaks in between where I wasn’t tracking calories). The system clearly works for some people. Many many people have lost a lot of weight using Noom, the proof is there. It does not work for me though, and I need to acknowledge that and close that door. What’s that phrase that everyone says? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…So, I’ll be trying something new in the coming weeks and if it yields better results, I’ll share it with you.
Lastly, and my favorite reason for choosing to discuss this today is because I had yet another reminder this morning of one of the doors that has opened for me (metaphorically speaking). One thing I have found which DOES work for me, is Team Body Project and their online workouts. I know I’ve written about them so many times already you’re probably getting sick of it. I swear, I’m not a paid spokesperson, I just love them so much. This morning I did a new workout of theirs that was a special tenth anniversary workout. They had flown in people from all over the world that they’d coached in previous years and the combination of the emotional music in the background and the incredibly encouraging words of the coach made me absolutely start bawling at the end of the workout (now this sounds more like me, right?)
I feel amazing at the end of every single one of their workouts that I do, and I look forward to doing another one the next day. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt this way about exercise and it feels great. Before finding these though, I had tried so many different other programs and exercise videos hoping to find the one that would inspire me to finally stick to it, and “failed” with all of them. So, this is just a reminder that just because one way of doing something doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you; it just means this particular approach isn’t the best match. You just need to find the way that works for you.
PS. Go ahead and try the high five habit for yourself, let me know how it goes for you!